{"product_id":"precious-shirt-funny-redneck-hillbilly-parody-fantasy-creature-distressed-adult-humor-tee","title":"Precious Shirt - Funny Redneck Hillbilly Parody Fantasy Creature Distressed Adult Humor Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a wildly irreverent\u0026amp;comma; high-impact piece of crude comedy apparel that blends classic dark fantasy cinema satire with raw\u0026amp;comma; gritty underground cartoon style\u0026amp;quest; The Touch My Penis Precious Funny Redneck Parody Shirt is the ultimate edgy novelty graphic tee for streetwear collectors\u0026amp;comma; meme enthusiasts\u0026amp;comma; and anyone with an uncompromising sense of adult humor\u0026amp;period; This explicit\u0026amp;comma; hilarious design twists a legendary cave-dwelling fantasy creature into a backcountry hillbilly masterpiece\u0026amp;comma; making it a legendary conversation starter\u0026amp;comma; a shocking white elephant joke gift\u0026amp;comma; and a bold addition to your casual rotation\u0026amp;period;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe back of the shirt features an intensely detailed\u0026amp;comma; high-contrast character illustration in a distressed vintage style\u0026amp;period; Standing front and center is a manic\u0026amp;comma; wide-eyed\u0026amp;comma; disheveled creature re-imagined as an old-school redneck\u0026amp;comma; complete with a long scraggly beard\u0026amp;comma; a camo trucker hat\u0026amp;comma; a tattered denim vest\u0026amp;comma; and a missing tooth\u0026amp;period; He's making a wild gesture while flanked by sad\u0026amp;comma; wilting cartoon sunflowers under a bold\u0026amp;comma; arched headline reading \"TOUCH MY PENIS\"\u0026amp;comma; anchored below by a massive\u0026amp;comma; distressed block-font exclamation\u0026amp;colon; \"PRECIOUS\u0026amp;excl;\"\u0026amp;period; The entire graphic is meticulously optimized for a textured\u0026amp;comma; vintage screen-print feel that looks like a rare\u0026amp;comma; decades-old concert or novelty shop find\u0026amp;period;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003eDesign \u0026amp; Fit Details\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Double-Sided Visual Impact\u0026amp;colon; Features a clean\u0026amp;comma; minimalist front layout with the massive\u0026amp;comma; high-impact distressed redneck parody graphic filling the back\u0026amp;period;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Premium Streetwear Quality\u0026amp;colon; Printed on the ultra-popular Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee for a heavy\u0026amp;comma; vintage\u0026amp;comma; lived-in feel and long-lasting durability\u0026amp;period;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; High-Impact Contrast\u0026amp;colon; The vintage-toned color palette—featuring rustic golds\u0026amp;comma; faded denims\u0026amp;comma; earthy flesh tones\u0026amp;comma; and crisp cream lettering—is engineered to pop seamlessly off deep fabric tones like Pepper or Black\u0026amp;period;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment Specifications\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Heavyweight fabric \u0026amp;lpar;6\u0026amp;period;1 oz\u0026amp;sol;yd² or 206\u0026amp;period;8 g\u0026amp;sol;m²\u0026amp;rpar;\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Relaxed\u0026amp;comma; comfortable streetwear fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Pre-shrunk 100\u0026amp;percnt; ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u0026amp;bullet; Without side seams to help the shirt retain its classic tubular shape\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43622483394634,"sku":"23471344909740008437","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43622483427402,"sku":"12713285264253789152","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":43622483460170,"sku":"27953848396193037271","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":43622483492938,"sku":"25315513636374313473","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":43622483525706,"sku":"28187022192543871800","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ S","offer_id":43622483558474,"sku":"33687403998271614602","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":43622483591242,"sku":"24216913862307140409","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ S","offer_id":43622483624010,"sku":"31795383762509895867","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":43622483656778,"sku":"11285144558737352327","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ S","offer_id":43622483689546,"sku":"75729165188349410563","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ S","offer_id":43622483722314,"sku":"83993301052489684227","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43622483755082,"sku":"11677560570994999068","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43622483787850,"sku":"27692420501488439767","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":43622483820618,"sku":"76903851217685844235","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":43622483853386,"sku":"26974947181368944383","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ M","offer_id":43622483886154,"sku":"10573573971885660592","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":43622483918922,"sku":"98231588785190813562","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ M","offer_id":43622483951690,"sku":"31196892052260270309","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":43622483984458,"sku":"16327666473485212025","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ M","offer_id":43622484017226,"sku":"22112871078519425710","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":43622484049994,"sku":"30398683626125432763","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ M","offer_id":43622484082762,"sku":"25200495807053869631","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ M","offer_id":43622484115530,"sku":"57220148869459884187","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43622484148298,"sku":"16050181520415920803","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43622484181066,"sku":"98872943894655540212","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":43622484213834,"sku":"24663111631018554480","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ L","offer_id":43622484246602,"sku":"27597866493925564223","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":43622484279370,"sku":"10608625522296408599","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ L","offer_id":43622484312138,"sku":"23533724543413811108","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ L","offer_id":43622484344906,"sku":"32274131253851418163","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":43622484377674,"sku":"27767773834764980184","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":43622484410442,"sku":"21517599746311871012","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":43622484443210,"sku":"19560564028074434133","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ L","offer_id":43622484475978,"sku":"24043091293284003931","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43622484508746,"sku":"42713975084654484769","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43622484541514,"sku":"11102349155091681209","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":43622484574282,"sku":"78256471829630891085","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ XL","offer_id":43622484607050,"sku":"32300072862784199547","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ XL","offer_id":43622484639818,"sku":"20193827819994509724","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":43622484672586,"sku":"17374172859645352227","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ XL","offer_id":43622484705354,"sku":"83935462073723805236","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":43622484738122,"sku":"22428480059630864510","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ XL","offer_id":43622484770890,"sku":"27828031672942981250","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":43622484803658,"sku":"10321152711659720845","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":43622484836426,"sku":"28521081242494691773","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ XL","offer_id":43622484869194,"sku":"17356218067053967148","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":43622484901962,"sku":"31773274993332565811","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ XL","offer_id":43622484934730,"sku":"19733383128890262671","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ XL","offer_id":43622484967498,"sku":"22766003405371159401","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485000266,"sku":"27211270388160015808","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485033034,"sku":"70339581407625579403","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485065802,"sku":"11382491213407325578","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485098570,"sku":"19999031018785784077","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485131338,"sku":"22638359123522937753","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485164106,"sku":"59514953394359605349","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485196874,"sku":"20169455412044719857","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485229642,"sku":"17371123157291332386","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485262410,"sku":"12547873088494257238","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485295178,"sku":"89101279953282782283","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485327946,"sku":"30569421530953622805","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485360714,"sku":"27566677736837350507","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485393482,"sku":"44159383636611323570","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485426250,"sku":"31165621319788470858","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ 2XL","offer_id":43622485459018,"sku":"53776694917136530294","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43622485491786,"sku":"44448774922880910444","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":43622485524554,"sku":"26500180343525017341","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ 3XL","offer_id":43622485557322,"sku":"18649255141945918674","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":43622485590090,"sku":"15873814012177387572","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43622485622858,"sku":"15256114676052485263","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0709\/5589\/2810\/files\/8264422372657553259_2048.jpg?v=1779517942","url":"https:\/\/garnersvaults.com\/products\/precious-shirt-funny-redneck-hillbilly-parody-fantasy-creature-distressed-adult-humor-tee","provider":"Garnersvaults","version":"1.0","type":"link"}